i've told you before.

I've told you so many times. I'm not a good person. not at all!

I've told you not to try me. don't test my patience but you still did it! I'm a kind of person that loves to keep the anger. not forgiven nor forgotten.

honestly, i kinda feel sorry for you now, i really feel bad but you pulled the trigger and start the war.

I've told you a thousand times. when you do good, you'll get the better. when you do something bad, you'll get the worse.

I've told you. you're not Alice in Wonderland!

insomnia

bosan.

mungkin karena lelah. ga pernah tidur cukup. cuma 3 jam hari ini!

ngantuk! lama-lama bisa ancur badanku kalo kaya gini terus.

take a sleeping pill, they said.
no, it's addictive, i said.

jadi gimana?!!

six years of insomnia, it has been too long.
my body just cant take it any longer.

nothing is free!

we should pay for everything we take and we do. it is not merely about money. hukum karma berlaku di sini, that everything you do, it will come back to you.

and now, after everything you've done, countless affair and lies, it's the time to pay the "debts". crying will never be enough since you already lose that worthful relationship. there's nothing you can do to take it back. now just enjoy the impacts of everything.

pagi ini

ga tau kenapa saya ga begitu bersemangat hari ini.

malas

lemah

letih

lesu

pengen pulang lagi, balik ke kamar saya yang berantakan kaya kandang tapi sumpah nyaman banget...

pengen pulang lagi, balik ke kamar saya dan tidur lagi...

missing you!

this feeling is driving me even crazier.
i need to see you. need to hold you but i cant.
you're just too far away from here.
i need you to come home!
i need you to be here!

but i cant push you, you have to be there to make a living.
i should hang on. i know i can.

miss you like hell sayang.

try to see from other's perspective.

maaf kelakuanmu ga masuk akal buat aku.

logikamu kayanya ga sejalan dengan logikaku.

dan aku ga mau memaksakan logikaku ke kamu. buat apa?

aku juga udah mencoba melihat dari sudut pandangmu tapi maaf tetap ga masuk akal buat aku.

feel home when you're around

i always happy when i see these shoes. it simply means that papa is home. being under the same roof with him after such a long time i didn't see him. i can see him in the morning, have a breakfast with him, listen when he is complaining everything.

i feel home.

Aku bukan temanmu.

Aku bisa dengan percaya diri mengatakan bahwa aku adalah aktris handal. Bukan karena aku seharusnya berakting di beberapa film dan kemudian mendapatkan penghargaan. Bukan.

Tapi lebih karena aku bisa ikut menangis bersamamu padahal sebenarnya aku sedang menari-nari di atas lukamu.

Lebih karena aku bisa terlihat sangat tulus menolongmu padahal aku sedang menuntunmu ke tepi jurang, mendorongmu jatuh dan berkata *ups….ga sengaja*

Lebih karena aku bisa memberikan senyum yang menguatkanmu sambil merangkai rencana jahat buat kamu.

Lebih karena saat aku merangkulmu, saat itulah aku bersiap untuk menusukmu.

Jadi lebih baik buka matamu sekarang sebelum terlambat dan kamu menemukan dirimu sudah berlutut dan mencium kakiku.

Jahat? Ah ga juga…
Aku toh cuma sekedar memberikan hasil panen dari bibit yang kamu tanam.
Aku toh Cuma sekedar mengembalikan apa yang dulu kamu berikan. Hanya saja aku mengembalikannya dalam jumlah yang lebih banyak. Jauh lebih banyak.

One thing for sure, you mess up with the wrong person, little girl.

Hmm… *snif snif*
I can smell victory :)

blue sky

entah kenapa, saya selalu merasa tenang kalo liat langit....rasanya masalah-masalah saya itu ga perlu dikhawatirkan, there's nothing to worry cos everything is gonna be okay!

the sky, in a way, makes me realize that God is there, looking and taking care of me. that's why i always enjoy when im in any flight..being in the middle of the sky. the cloud just a few meter away, feels like i can reach it in my hand. i feel so free.

museum kereta api, ambarawa

saya sudah tinggal di salatiga for my whole life....tapi saya jarang banget pergi ke museum ini...well it's actually a very nice place to visit and i just found out few weeks a go.

museum ini menyediakan kereta wisata, it's quite cheap...only Rp 10.000 per person and they give u great scenery to see :)