me is enough for me

6 months left. i have to graduate by July 2011. but i still sit here, in front of my laptop and doing nothing. i dont know what to do and where to start.

and at the same time, my parents (and people around me) keep asking me how my thesis is going, i still give them the same answer i gave 3 months a go. still collecting the data.

do you think i dont feel intimidated by the graduation of friends of mine? of course i do! that's why i dont need more 'pushy action' to push me. just let me take a little air to my lungs then i'll get back to work.

support. one thing that i badly need right now. do i sound like a little girl that always need people to back her up in every condition? well..maybe i do, but so what?

i do need a motivator at the time like this.

...

2 days ago. i found a good quotation from Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love. i dont remember it word by word. she said that there will one time in your life when you realize that sometime you only have yourself to guide, accompany, support or even love you!

and yes, i also found it true. i walked through some moments of my life when there wasnt anyone to lean on, to rely on. and i made it. i survive til today.

sometimes, i just dont realize how strong i am in bearing pain and troubles and sadness.

...

then, now i question myself.

dini, if you can face your past problems that was so much bigger than (just) your thesis and your unexplainable boredom, why are you giving up now?

get up. stand up. and face it! because there isnt any other way than that. give a little trust to yourself that she can make it. trust yourself!!

and dini, if you dont want to have other people push you then push yourself!

if no one is there when you need them, that's not your problem. you are the only person that can support yourself. you dont need another people to do that for you.

you is enough for you.

This is YOUR life!

do what you love. and do it often.

if you dont like something. change it.

if you dont like your job. quit.

if you dont have enough time. stop watching TV.

if you're looking for the love of your life. stop.

they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.

stop over analyzing. all emotions are beautiful.

when you eat. appreciate.

life is simple. every last bite.

open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people. we are united in our differences.

ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dreams with them.

travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.

some opportunities only come once. seize them.

life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.

life is short. live your dream and wear your passion.

Eyes on Merapi.

saya rasa seluruh indonesia juga sudah tau kalo 26 oktober 2010 merapi erupsi. bencana yang tadinya tidak begitu diperhatikan orang banyak, mungkin karena hampir semua orang mengira kalo bencana ini ga akan berlangsung lama. sepertinya hampir semua orang mbatin "ah..paling besok juga udah reda, trus tar bakalan banyak dompet peduli kasih ato apalah itu". ternyata merapi tidak hanya erupsi hari itu saja, beberapa hari setelah itu pun sang merapi masih saja belum puas mengeluarkan isi perutnya.


jarak aman pengungsi yang tadinya hanya sekitar 15km pun akhirnya harus direlokasi sejauh 20km (sampai hari ini). pengungsi pun semakin banyak.


tapi beberapa warga bahkan masih sempat untuk bolak-balik ke desa nya untuk memberi makan ternak dan ketika ditanya mengapa, mereka hanya menjawab "nanti kalo merapi sudah reda, kami cuma punya ternak untuk membantu kami bertahan hidup, karena rumah dan segalanya sudah hilang terbakar"



sawah jadi abu-abu. pohon jadi abu-abu. jalanan jadi abu-abu. hangus. terbakar. hilang. dan perasaan pun juga jadi abu-abu. Earth doesn't provide any other color.

dampak erupsi merapi pun ga cuma di Jogja, kota-kota disekitar jogja pun ikut merasakan hujan abu dari letusan sang merapi. semua orang di kota saya pun mulai memakai masker. anehnya, ada orang yang dengan teganya menjual masker dengan harga 10 x lipat harga semula. what the hell are they thinking??!!


bukan hanya aliran bantuan dana dan makanan saja yang mengalir tapi manusia-manusia pun berbondong-bondong pergi kesana untuk membantu. melakukan apa saja yang bisa mereka lakukan untuk para pengungsi. sedikit ironis memang, ternyata kita bisa begitu bersatu ketika ada bencana. betapa kita bisa memperlakukan orang lain seperti saudara karena bencana.


semua mata menatap merapi. semua tangan mengatup, berdoa, memohon ampun pada Si empunya kehidupan. semua nafas tertahan melihat nafas panas sang merapi meniup, menghancurkan, meratakan desa-desa dikakinya. bahkan mengambil mereka tak cukup sigap untuk menyelamatkan diri. maka korban jiwa pun bertambah.

*gambar-gambar di atas saya ambil dari google, tidak ada satu pun yang asli jepretan saya.

Mt. Bromo

stop complaining. start thanking.

sometimes i have to lose something in order to get the better one. this is something that i label as a sacrifice. at first i do feel really hurt by the pain but as the time goes by, i get used to the 'new situation'.

then everything back to normal.

sometimes i have to lose something so that i can put more respect and appreciation when it returns.

but whatever it is, i should thank God for everything i have for someone out there might pray to have what i have now.

dear, parents

please, dont blame me when i cant do something that you expect me to do.
dont shout at me to make me understand for i'm not deaf and i'm your daughter.
dont push me when we dont have the same opinion for i have my own right to think and decide.

please, put a little trust on me, i can do this. i can handle this. i just need a little trust from you. is that too much to ask?
yes, i know. i made a huge mistakes, but it was already 7 years a go!
i know that was hrd for you, but that was also hard for me.
so why dont we try to work everything out?

i love you so goddamn much mom,dad. and i know you do. so please, do me a favour.
i do need your support.

please wait a little while, i'll make you proud.
so please, trust me! since i badly need that.