me is enough for me

6 months left. i have to graduate by July 2011. but i still sit here, in front of my laptop and doing nothing. i dont know what to do and where to start.

and at the same time, my parents (and people around me) keep asking me how my thesis is going, i still give them the same answer i gave 3 months a go. still collecting the data.

do you think i dont feel intimidated by the graduation of friends of mine? of course i do! that's why i dont need more 'pushy action' to push me. just let me take a little air to my lungs then i'll get back to work.

support. one thing that i badly need right now. do i sound like a little girl that always need people to back her up in every condition? well..maybe i do, but so what?

i do need a motivator at the time like this.

...

2 days ago. i found a good quotation from Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love. i dont remember it word by word. she said that there will one time in your life when you realize that sometime you only have yourself to guide, accompany, support or even love you!

and yes, i also found it true. i walked through some moments of my life when there wasnt anyone to lean on, to rely on. and i made it. i survive til today.

sometimes, i just dont realize how strong i am in bearing pain and troubles and sadness.

...

then, now i question myself.

dini, if you can face your past problems that was so much bigger than (just) your thesis and your unexplainable boredom, why are you giving up now?

get up. stand up. and face it! because there isnt any other way than that. give a little trust to yourself that she can make it. trust yourself!!

and dini, if you dont want to have other people push you then push yourself!

if no one is there when you need them, that's not your problem. you are the only person that can support yourself. you dont need another people to do that for you.

you is enough for you.